Category Archives: Girlie Crush

Down on My Knees

This post was written on what I think was a Thursday, but I know it was the 11th day in the month of March in the year of 2010.

Givin’ it my best shot these past weeks – don’t know how well I’m doing. You know it’s really hard being the person that everyone comes to when they have problems and knowing that I don’t have anyone to go to.

I know I whine a lot and I bitch and moan a lot – the majority of it is for effect. I like to make people laugh. I’m opinionated and I have a goddamn answer for everything. I NEVER (or seldom, let’s say) complain or bitch about what’s really wrong with me, or what’s really bothering me. I have friends who have been going through so much worse that I am that it would be a sin for me to bitch about my piddly problems.

But if anyone knew how bad it really was I’m pretty sure a lot people would be surprised.

I haven’t been sleeping well these past weeks. I hate it when BigD is out of town – HATE IT. I can’t sleep without him, even if I can’t sleep when he’s home cuz he’s a crabby old ass. But at least he’s home and even if one of us are on the sofa, we’re in the same house and if I need him,he’s there.

When he’s gone, I don’t sleep good. I fell asleep at 7pm last night (I know, right?) and was up at one a.m. putting new memory in my computer. By 2am I was a slobbery, whinery, snotty mess. I was just so fucking lonesome. My back hurt so bad, and all I could think was that they’ll never find out what’s wrong with me.

I started crying so hard that I started coughing – this goddamn cold won’t go away, it’s been over a MONTH. I keep thinking about my mom – she went in December and got a completely clean bill of health (she had to have physical cuz she was working at a nursing home). Five weeks later – a fifty cent piece spot of cancer on her lungs.

She was dead less than a year later.

Shit like that goes through your head when you’re home alone, night after night, after night.

So …

Yesterday I was supposed to get my tat worked on by the Tattoo God and then have lunch with a new friend (who happens to be the TG’s lady). My fucking car decided I wasn’t going anywhere and that I need a new ignition module.

Yay.

When to town w/the baby today. She makes me laugh and that’s a good thing. Right now I need all the laugh I can get.

Imma get my Jim Beam on … yeah, pickin’ up the ghetto talk, lol.

I gotta go … nothing to see here, move along.

Whoop.

Oh My …

This post was written on what I think was a Monday, but I know it was the 21st day in the month of July in the year of 2008.

… naked Ham.

… half naked Grace.

… and Kid Rock in the background.

Shoot me now, I can die a happy woman.

Yes, please …

“Uh, what’s with the chickens, Earl?”

lol …

And who’s idiot marketing idea was it to make those commercials with the echoes?

WTF?

Oddly Enough …

This post was written on what I think was a Sunday, but I know it was the 13th day in the month of July in the year of 2008.

… waxing one’s eyebrows doesn’t do much to lower one’s stress level.

Who knew?

‘kay, I’ve calmed down and the urge to commit any number of ‘cides (y’know – homicide, filicide, femicide, mariticide, sororicide, suicide) has finally passed. Well, maybe not so much the mariticide, but y’know how THAT goes.

I have been busier than a one-armed paperhanger and finding time to blog is a bit difficult these days.

Yay! “Saving Grace” is coming back tomorrow. I have a serious girlie-crush on Holly Hunter (as well as a more traditional crush on the guy who plays Ham) and I have already informed my “better” (and I write that with more than a little bit of sarcasm) half that he better clear the hell out.

How HOT is this woman?

Hot enough that I just spent the last ten minutes farking with my WP uploads folder so I could get that image uploaded.

So, I am not dying.

No one knows what the fuck is wrong with me and no one seems that interested in finding out, either … so fuck the lot of ‘em.

I’m sick of the doc appointments that didn’t give me any answers and sick of the the meds that didn’t give me any relief.

Although, I was kinda groovin’ on the Valium. Not so much the Valium itself, but the fact that I could dramatically scream, “I’m taking a Valium and going to bed” when shit got outta hand.

Okay, I am off.

Gimme an “F” … gimme a “u” … gimme a “c” …

This post was written on what I think was a Thursday, but I know it was the 10th day in the month of July in the year of 2008.

… ah, FUCK IT!

Okay, then where to start?

Ack.

I really want to scream and bitch like a crazy person; I REALLY want to cry (I can feel the pressure building up in my chest). I REALLY want to throw something against the wall or onto the concrete of the patio just for the satisfaction of hearing it shatter.

I would dearly love to strangle any number of asswipes who have made my life so FUCKING miserable over the past three weeks.

But I won’t do any of those things.

Right now I’m going to go wax my eyebrows, then I’ll come back, a bit less stressed and explain WHY I’d like to do some MAJOR damage to property and life.