lost woman song

Hello, mes bébés! So long since I’ve been here I hardly know where to start (never stopped me before, did it, lol?)

So what the hell is new at Casa del Loco?

Not much. Actually it’s the same old, same old. Nothing that bad, nothing that good, life is on an even keel. The “bad” thing about that is I get BORED when life is on an even keel. Bored, like wanting to do something to shake things up and y’all know from previous experience that can turn into a disaster, lol. Fortunately, I am just too beat to think up anything scandalous or devastating to mix things up.

So what do I WANT? Funny that, I can’t think of anything I really want.

Oh unless you count THIS:

My little Hidey-Hole

BigD has been promising me for nearly a month to get this put up in the yard. We have nearly all the materials to build it, including the wooden French doors. He keeps blowing me off.

I’m done asking him.

He likely will not appreciate the consequences.

I just looked through my archives for anniversaries past and realized that I still need to get Oct ’99 thru July ’02 online. And apparently, there IS nothing for 2003. Nothing. Anywhere. What the hell is up with that? Where was I and what the hell was I doing?

I DID find this one from the morning of our 15th anniversary party:

And why do I look so stressed? Because it looks like it’s gonna rain like a son-of-a-bitch and see that little piece of earth moving equipment behind me?

Yeah.

We’d just poured our patio the day before and it was making me nuts that the yard wouldn’t be cleaned up in time.

The party actually came off without a hitch and we had a friggin BALL.

(I am amazed at the color and clarity of that photo; taken with a Sony Cybershot!)

Twenty-fifth anniversary party plans are moving steadily along. Pig ordered and off to be butchered next Thursday. BigD has to get his ass in gear for sauerkraut and stuffing; I am in close contact w/Sonja and I believe things are going along well there. Can’t forget buns and condiments. Def putting out my newly canned sweet pickles and dills that TheBaby made.

Speaking of TheBaby, I was going through the archives to find a photo of the cake she made for our 15th anniversary – she was only 13 and she did such a sweet job! But hell … I can’t find it.

And how about them Brewers? The last two games were awesome, particularly Monday nights 9th inning.

Take THAT, Cubbies!

Whoop-whoop!

Okay darlins, I am off for the day.

a daisy through concrete

This last week has been a fucking BITCH. So much pain that I just want to go to sleep and stay there until it goes away. Well, it never goes away, but it gets tolerable. Honestly, it’s all I can do to keep from screaming.

This month is chock-full of STUFF.

This weekend is my grand-nephew’s b’day party and Mother’s Day, as well as a graduation celebration for a dear friend’s daughter.

Tuesday is the birthday (whoopie) and we’re going out to eat w/TheBaby and her boy. Next Saturday is our Brewers weekend! I get to see TheBoy and his girlie and I think we’re going to the ZOO!
I am so excited for that.

I really wish I had more – more happy, more fun, more bitchy, more SOMETHING – the way I’m feeling is not conducive to ANYTHING.

everything zen

I hate everybody and everything.

Oh, except for YOU, of course.

  • People are mean
  • I am old
  • My house is a mess
  • EVERYTHING FUCKING HURTS
  • I miss my husband

Yeah, I actually thought there would be more to that list, but there isn’t. Of course, the list is enough as it is.

People are really fucking mean. I belong to a lot of discussion boards (writing, web design, photography, etc).

A LOT

Some I’ve been on for YEARS. Some only a couple of months.

I know I could just stop participating on the ones that make me crazy, but I am learning some pretty cool things and I don’t want to give that up. Ditto on the boards where I have nothing in common with the majority of the members.

As in they are young, have little kids, are SAHMs, are well-to-do, are frisky and perky and cute, whereas I am old, fat, unattractive and poor. (Bitter, party of one!)

And many of those perky, young, pretty, well-to-do SAHM’s are MEAN. Seriously. Oh, not to each other, God forbid. The majority of their posts vis-à-vis (so to speak) are full of sunshine and light and great honking pats on the back. They praise each others’ work and their method of potty training. They commiserate on how tired their children make them and discuss … well, they discuss shit that I was too busy working my ass off to worry about when I had little kids.

Anyway – THEY piss me off.

There are also a bunch of them that make me laugh a lot and they’re kind and sweet – the kind of person I didn’t have time to be when I was young and poor and raising two little kids, so there’s that too.

But we’re discussing the shit that I hate and the fact that I am fucking CRABBY today, okay?

I am tired of being old and unattractive. Look, I am fully aware of the fact that I was never a beauty queen, but to put it in the words of one drunken idiot (who BTW, is no longer welcome on my property), I “used to be hot”. I have never been what you might call photogenic, but these days I’m pretty sure if you look up the word “crone” in the dictionary, my picture would be the illustration.

And I am not fishing for any kind of comment on that – seriously. I just want to get it OUT. Out into the fucking universe so I can let it GO.

So, I HATE being old. And fat.

I actually just looked around my house, and I lied. It ain’t that bad.

So THAT I don’t HATE THAT MUCH.

I am so-ooo-ooo OVER being in pain. Like every day of my life. Most days it’s minor, and given the fact that I am OLD, and knowing the shit a lot of other people go through, it’s minor. But there are days when everything hurts at once. When it feels like little animals with really sharp fucking teeth are chawing on my hipbones and my elbows and my wrists. Then there’s that thing where my right arm goes completely “pins and needles” – for DAYS at a time.

Yeah, THAT I really fucking HATE.

:: sigh ::

The husband thing.

Yeah.

He is the love of my life. We get along so well. He makes me laugh my tits off. He works so fucking hard. He tells me he loves me a dozen times a day. He puts up with so much SHIT from me (see all of the above).

We’re kind of slacking in the “married” part of our marriage.

And it’s killing me.