sun don’t shine

I miss my mama

I miss my mama

I HATE being sick and I’ve had a lot of practice at it over the past two weeks. Apparently the United States is being attacked by two virulent flu strains. That means if you didn’t get a flu shot (that would be me) you will get the flu. It also means that if you DID get a flu shot, it was likely the WRONG flu shot and you will still get sick.

So there.

I didn’t even really realize that the portrait of my mama was in this photo, but it kinda fits because I’ve been thinking how much I wanted her since I’ve been sick.

I know a lot of people – like nearly the whole COUNTRY – are suffering from this shit (which is scary and a whole other blog entry), and I have no reason to feel sorry for myself, I do and I am. While BigD was home for the first week and took exceptionally good care of me and my Buglet has been here for me and my dear, dear friend Betsy, from Me~Myself & I dropped off some homeopathic meds this morning, does ANYBODY EVER stop wanting their mama when they’re sick?

I had a wonderful Christmas and got the ONE thing I wanted: a new lens for my camera. It’s awesome and I can’t wait to feel better/for the weather to change in order to utilize the damn thing, lol. In the meantime I am studying every day, trying to learn everything I can about the craft of photography.

Today I’m feeling a bit better, but I’m not gonna let this monster fool me again; the last time I felt better (Monday, I think) I was all over the house upstairs, down in the basement, doing house stuffs. Yesterday I was back on the sofa – bleeeh!

The worst thing is that when I get something like the cold or the flu or even a hangover (not that I get them much these days), I end up feeling worse because it exacerbates the Fibro. I’ve learned to deal with the FM every day, but add something more to it and I am a mushy, weepy mess.

div

Also? My ONLY resolution for 2013 is to try and post here more often.

Ensuring that I’ll likely not be back until May.

brown paper packages

Yeah, I don’t have enough to stress this time of year. I got four adult people who absolutely refuse to give me a hint of any kind of what they might like to find under the tree from Santa, I got a high maintenance kid who’s birthday is three days before Christmas (yes, I am fully aware of the fact that I actually CHOSE her friggin birthday – SHUT UP), I got the anniversary of my mother’s death five days before Christmas, I got actual CHRISTMAS … and now I gotta worry about the end of the world on 12/21/12. I should actually be HOPEFUL, because the end of the world would pretty much wipe out the OTHER things I stress about this time of year.

:: sigh ::

Though it would save me a butt-load of angst, y’all know how my luck runs and the world is NOT gonna end in ten days.

What is it they say? “Keep Calm and Carry On“? Good advice for someone whose usual modus operandi is “Act Hysterical and Give Up.”

Eh … Oh! here’s some awesome news: BigD is home! Yay!!!!! No only is he home, as in not out of town, but he’s actually HOME today. Of course, having him home all day usually turns into chaos of one form or another but that’s a chance I don’t mind taking.

Beside, he’s all doped up so … what kind of trouble can he cause?

Okay, off to fiddle around with some shit.

between planets

Yup … still nothin’.

I want, I want, I want …

I want some ambition.

I want some inspiration.

I want to stop feeling so … ehhhh. Y’know?

I have nothing to bitch about, not really. I have so much to be grateful for. I am happy, really I AM.

I just WANT.