so you can sleep at night

What to do today?

I really don’t have that much goin’ on these days. My spring cleaning is nearly done; I only have the kitchen left, but I figure I better take a week or so off after last week or I will be TOTALLY fucking useless for a month.

Y’know, instead of just half-assed useless.

I’ve realized that I am FAT. Not just a little fluffly, which is okay even up to the age of 35, but actually FAT. Fat like double chin, wobbly upper arms, flabby thighs fat. I vacillate back and forth between not giving much of a shit because I am, after all, OVER FIFTY and looking in the mirror and freaking out. Truth is, I pretty much try to avoid looking at anything in the mirror very closely. I lean in close when doing my make-up, only look at my hair – you know, just the specifics. Putting all together and looking at it – uh, not so much.

Truth is, I am discouraged. Dieting, cleansing and even exercising steadily haven’t done me much good over the past several years. I mean seriously, I walked a FAST mile every day for over a month and two weeks into a two mile walk (six weeks for those of you that can’t add) and NOTHING. Add to that the fact that I was on a cleansing regimen for two of those weeks with absolutely NO RESULTS and it makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with me.

Maybe I’m just supposed to be fat for some reason that the cosmos hasn’t revealed to me yet.

What? It could happen

Went to Menard’s and picked up my mulch for the year. Hoping 15 bags will be enough. It’s supposed to be nice this afternoon so I’m thinking I’ll get at it. I can remember, like five years ago, when it took me DAYS to get the patio weeded and ready for the summer. Of course, after getting it ready, I was in bed for a damn week and couldn’t enjoy how nice it looked. Plus, I had to keep weeding on a weekly basis.

Putting down a barrier and mulch was the smartest frigging thing I ever did.

Oh, take a look at this kid. Is he not the cutest thing EVER??

We can’t make ugly kids in our family, lol.