knuckle down

After twenty-one years, you’d think I’d be getting over it.

I’m not. What’s more, I doubt that I ever will.

The holiday season (Christmas time, for all of you thoughtless, Christian-centric folks) season is upon us with all that entails and I LOVE that part of it. I love the decorating (well kinda). I love the cards in the mail. I love Bob Rivers – “Oh geez look at this“. And you KNOW I love the food.

Underneath it all though is that sadness. I have it over the course of the year at different times, but Christmas is the worst. Because Mama loved Christmas and because she died just five days before.

So the holidays are bittersweet for me.

This year, of course, my boy is over there in Minnesota and I don’t know if he’s coming home. Shit, I don’t even know if he’s alive – I NEVER hear from him unless I text him. Which reminds me …

Okay, he’s alive. Apparently he purchased “Boogie Nights” and thought fondly of his mother. 🙄

I am persona non gratis with my baby sister. We had quite the blow-up in June and we haven’t spoken since. The middle sister and I have always had that type of relationship, but LittleSis and I never have. It makes me sad.

I could be the bigger person and hold out the olive branch, but I’m afraid if I HAD an olive branch I’d commence to beating that “man” she’s married to about the face and shoulders with it and that would be the wrong thing to do.


Time Waits for No One

Also, “The Holidays” directly precedes The New Year (we are still calling it that, right?) which means I gotta start thinking of all the things that are wrong with me and ways to fix it.

I’ll be busy til oh, right around May 1. Just in time for my 51st (!) birthday when I can start whining about being old.