Dull As Old Barbed Wire

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I should be doing the taxes, but I’m in a snit at the old man and I doan wanna (spoken in my whiny voice). If you didn’t know me you might think it was because I didn’t get anything, not even a card, for Valentine’s Day.

But it’s not.

It’s because he’s a dick in bed.

Hey come back, this is NOT gonna be TMI, this time, I promise. Well there might be later in this post, but right now I’m referring to how he talks in his sleep, NOT about his tremendous sexual prowess (what, you don’t think I’ve been with him for 25 years because he’s independently wealthy, do ya?).

Every once in a while, usually if he’s sick, like with a bad cold, he talks in his sleep and says shitty things to me. One night last week, after I’d had a tremendous coughing fit, he told me to get out of bed then called the dog up next to him.

WTF.

Night before last, every time I woke up coughing he had something snotty to say. Then when his alarm went off, he says, “Well, at least SOMEONE gets to sleep.”

I am fully aware of the fact that he can’t be held accountable for anything he says/does in his sleep, but it pisses me off. I mean, I am already PISSED OFF because I just woke myself up for the third (or fourth or fifth) time coughing my guts out. Do I really need his assholery on top of it?

He always apologizes for anything he might’ve said and I know he doesn’t mean it, but STILL …

NOW for the real TMI – The Valentine’s Day Edition

  1. Have you had sex with another person in 2010? Have you passed on an opportunity to sex with another person in 2010?

    2. Nope. Nope.

  2. What is the funniest thing you have ever said or done during sex? (Orgasmic facial expressions do not count.)

    3. When we were first together, I gave BigDaddy a great big whack across the head. I can’t imagine why the hell he kept dating me.

  3. What is the first thing you notice about a member of the opposite sex?

    4. Their forearms and hands.

  4. What is the best pick-up line you have ever heard? Every used? Ever been used on you?

    5. Really? I grew up in and made my living for thirty years in a bar – pick one. I’ve heard ‘em all. Some worked, some didn’t.

  5. Where is the most unique you have ever had sex?

    6. Men’s room of a bar we hang out at ;)

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