time waits for no one

So what I did was import the entries that I had from the blog/journal that I had for work over here. There weren’t that many entries because in the industry I am a part of, people look differently at “the blog”.

Aside from the fact that one or two from said industry claim to have actually invented the blog (can I get an eyeroll here?), I have been informed that blogs, in case you didn’t know, are marketing tools to be used to network in your chosen field. Blogs help potential clients get to know you after they read the two-hundred and tenth entry about YOU-YOU-YOU.

Oh my ever-lovin’ HELL.

Lemme tell ya something … blogs (or journals, as we used to know them, what? ten years ago?), on-line diaries, whatever ya wanna call ‘em, are mostly used these days just so that people can see themselves yack.

NO! Wait a minute!

I am as self-centered and as much the Queen of My World as the next person, and I am fully aware that my life is SO INTERESTING that people can’t help but wait in breathless anticipation for my next entry. But when we all first started things were different …

hang on, lemme grab my rocking chair …

we wrote with the intent of sharing our lives and learning about other people’s. Our entries begat comments, which begat entries, which begat even MORE comments.

We sat through hours of labor with each other. We were there for funerals and weddings and divorces and adoptions. We SHARED our lives. We became a part of each other’s lives. We gave other people the opportunity to share in the spotlight once in a while instead of churning out entry after entry like automated brain-dumps.

With that all said, I am fully aware of just how ironic this whole entry is. I am the biggest proponent of and guiltiest of the ME-ME-ME thing.

I came home because I’ve gotten more feedbackin three days here than I ever did in two years in that arena. Self-centered as I am, I NEED to exchange ideas and thoughts with other people.

And incidentally, one does not shit where one eats.

I sometimes get frustrated or down-right ANNOYED at my clients. It just doesn’t do to bite the hand that feeds you, even if it is in the heat of the moment.

And now, I am tired and my fingers are swollen.

Fie on old age.

Okay … I know that in order for me to actually get back to doing this on a daily (or even a semi-regular) basis, I am gonna have to force myself to write every day.

The problem THERE is that I already HAVE a routine, one that I’ve been following for quite some time and trying to fit something new in is gonna fuck with THAT. That right THERE is the reason that I no longer walk every morning.

Consider yourselves blessed. I chose you over fitness.

So, okay, this is the routine:

• wake-up
• GET up
• pee
• feed the dog and cats (their dishes are in the bathroom)
• let the dog out to pee
• go start the coffee
• let the dog back in
• bitch because TheBoy hasn’t taken the garbage out in so long that it’s crawling out to the bins by itself
• turn on the radio and fiddle with the antenna becuase Bob and Tom come in for shit in the house
• pour a cup of coffee
• check my email
• check all the industry boards for potential new clients
• work on current’s clients’ sites or random designs
• coffee has cooled off enough so that I can take my meds (this is a fairly recent additon to the schedule)
• at 9am turn off the radio and turn on the TV in the living room so as to be able to hear “Nash Bridges” for the next two hours
• random work related stuff
• about noonish throw in a load of laundry

My day goes on pretty much the same, UNLESS BigD is out of town (which he is this week). When he’s out of town I generally take a nap around 2pm, sleep until 5pm, get up and eat, watch a little TV, work a little, call him about 8pm, then go to bed.

This entry is serving double duty; it gets my routine out there so that any stalkers or generally crazy people know exactly where I am and what I’m doing at any given time and it also reminds me of what I’m supposed to be doing.

Whatever …

So be prepared for a couple of these baby step retarded posts before I actually get back to NORMAL retarded posts.

Love and outies.

If you can’t baffle ‘em with brilliance, dazzle ‘em with bullshit.

So .. here I am. I’ve been away, as y’all know, and what’s kept me away for nigh these past two years or so is my job.

NOT the bartender/manager job that made me crazy, but a completely different job, that makes me crazy in its own, peculiar, make-me-wanna-get-on-a-plane-and-swat-somebody kinda way.

I am a web designer.

For a very specialized area of service.

I’m very good at my job and I am very well known in my industry. I have clients all over the world and I love what I do.

But … and ain’t there always a “but”?

I deal with women exclusively.

And being a woman my own self, for as many years as I have been a woman (that would be forty-seven, next Thursday, but who’s counting) I feel confident in making the judgement that women are FUCKING NUTS.

No, I’m serious, women are fucking nuts. And devious. And under-handed.

A woman can hold a grudge longer than a man any day of the week. And they will cut off their own nose to spite their face if it means making another woman look bad.

Ahem …

In any event, expect a bunch of bitching in the near future. This is the only place I have left to do so.

So … what else?

TheBug moved out, six months ago. The fact that she is currently sacked out on the sofa and has been since she got off work at 2am, notwithstanding.

Hard to miss her if she don’t go away.

TheBoy is living in the basement, going to college to be a teacher (!!!!), working at UPS and building his celebrity status as a wrestler.

No, I am not kidding, lol.

BigD left yesterday morning for Peoria (the birthplace of my comedy God, Richard Pryor) after having been laid off for - oh, somewhere along the lines of four MONTHS.

To say that I was looking forward to him being called back to work is something of an understatement.

Okay, I am off for now, but I’ll be back soon.

An old woman had a job she loved a lot that was fun and gave her the opportunity to meet and become acquainted with a lot of cool people.

Of course the occasional not so nice person crossed her path as well, but being naive even though she was old, she never believed that anyone could REALLY be cruel and unkind. Her feelings were hurt when a very mean Shit-Stirring Witch said bad things about her, but her friends rallied ’round and she survived and continued.

The years went on, the old woman continued to enjoy her job; like other women, she had stressful incidents in her life - marriage, bills, kids, etc. And one black day - a !LUMP! on one of her lady parts. !OH MY! And off the chart blood pressure that gave her blinding headaches and made her feel as though she’d done a lot of drinking even when she hadn’t!

The lump mysteriously disappeared (WTF?) and she was put on a BUTTLOAD of medications for everything else.

Then one day when she was starting to feel better and get used the thirty eleven pills she had to take every day (it SUCKS being old), the mean old Shit-Stirring Witch charged back into her life and made a great big stir of the DRAMA pot and the naive old woman LOST HER SHIT! as well as several clients who chose to believe the SSW instead of remembering the honest and respectful way that the old woman had treated them.

All the high blood pressure pills, and anti-depressants and even Valium failed in the face of the mean, old Shit-Stirring Witch. The old woman panicked, looked like a paranoid delusional (which she actually had NOT been diagnosed as) and made an ass out of herself by contacting all of her clients trying to defend herself. Which made her professional image pale greatly.
Of course, they once again all rallied around her, because they rock the house that way.

Which made the old woman feel very happy in her pants.

The naive old woman spent two days getting her shit together and she is now promising her friends and clients one BIG PROMISE: No more panicky emails when the Shit-Stirring Witch strikes. The NEXT time the SSW strikes, the naive old woman is going to remember what her REAL-LIFE NICKNAME is and she will KICK ARSE and TAKE NAMES.

BUT SHE WILL NEVER INTRUDE UPON HER LOVELY CLIENTS AND FRIENDS AGAIN.

The end … And to the SSW? Crawl out from behind your computer screen and face me like a woman instead of a twelve year old. If you want design clients, get them the same way I did and will continue to do, by putting out quality, original work instead of telling lies behind my back.

You have a REALLY great reputation as a mentor and teacher - why not build on that instead of trying to destroy other people?

That would be anal-retentive, lol.

I am SOOOOO happy that I found so many of you (if y’all can tell me where the rest of my missing loves are, that would be great - still looking for the Quirk, MsVon and Judith). I will be adding and updating all of your links today (I’ve already got MsLisa - WRONG addy, but I FO-O-OUND YOU, lol and the gorgeous MsSasha).

Anyways, I hate this theme, so I will be re-doing that today.

In case anybosdy was wondering - yes, I am fucked right up, at 10:30 in the morning. It’s all these gfreaking meds they have me on (only for another ten days though). It’s a mildly pleasant buzz though and not one the interferes with my daily agend.

Actually makes it a bit more amusing.

At least I am DOING something, insteadof laying in the bed all mucked up on the Vicoden and muscle relaxers!

Okay, I am off.